Sunday, October 19, 2008

Teen Help

I must get asked this question at least once a day......

Is this just a “teenage thing” or is there really a problem? Nearly every parent asks themselves this same question, and nearly everyone we talk to wishes they would have recognized that there was a serious problem sooner, before the extreme disruption settled in. Rebellion is normal. Short bouts of depression are normal. Changing friends, hairstyles, clothing style, and trying new things, that’s all normal. Violence is not. Deep depression or despondency is not. Withdrawal is not. Doing drugs and engaging in sexual activity is not. Failing all of your classes is not. Before your child gets too far down the road, you may need to intervene.

Here are some warning signs that your teen maybe in trouble, really asking for help. While these signs or behaviors may vary, historically, they have been a valuable diagnostic tool to help identify when teens may be in trouble, and not just going through normal teenage struggles.

• Poor peer relations
• Strained home relations
• Denies mistakes/blames
• Tells frequent lies
• Engages in self injury
• Sexually promiscuous
• Dangerous/daredevil behavior
• Declined academic performance
• Feels entitled
• Sad or depressed
• Loss of appetite
• Nervous or anxious
• Experimenting with drugs/alcohol

One of the real keys is a significant change in behavior, lasting at least a few weeks. For example, it is not uncommon for teenagers to not get along real well with their parents. On the other hand, if up to this time, they have enjoyed being involved with the family, but now are completely distant, it may indicate a problem.

Talk with your teenager and let them know that you are there for them, that you care for them. Try to open the lines of communication. If the trend continues, consult with your family physician, school counselor, educational consultant, or family therapist. They can provide professional advice and the necessary diagnostic tests for possible academic and treatment plans.

For many families their number one question is… “How do Help my teen.” Well, the teen might have a problem, but the teen is not necessarily THE problem. Blaming the child is really an unfair oversimplification. Sometimes the teen just needs to learn the basic lessons and attitudes necessary for growing up, which they can do, or if they need more help, can be done at a program such as an Therapeutic Boarding School.

Or, perhaps the teen has some kind of pathology that is more appropriately the focus of a Residential Treatment Center. In either case, family relationships are an integral part of both the problem and the solution. Selecting a treatment strategy that is only concerned with what the child is doing while ignoring the family, is not addressing the whole problem and is less likely to provide a satisfying solution.

Avoid the following thoughts, “I can handle this by myself.” We often hear that from people who are concerned with the stigma of getting help. There are many confidential sources of help so you don’t have to go through your challenges alone. Going it alone also often reduces the effectiveness of treatment, since your child may get the feeling that you may be ashamed of them.
Sometimes, this also happens between parents, even if they are living together. A child needs the best possible relationship with both parents, regardless of the relationship choices the parents for more information on this please feel free to call toll free at 866-798-2285 please leave a message if you happen to get the answering machine we will call you back.